As The Seasons Change
by Black Dragon62
Summary: One Shot. Complete. I won't say too much on the specifics of the story, you are going to have to read it for yourself to know what happens. But I will say there is angst, lots of it. Shonen Ai. 1x2x1 and a little 3x4x3.


Dislaimer: I don't own GundamWing, or any of it's characters, I just use them as my puppets.  
  
Pairings: 1x2x1, 3x4x3  
  
Genre: POV.  
  
Warnings: Angst and Death.  
  
As The Seasons Change  
  
By Black Dragon62  
  
//I don't mind spending everyday  
  
Out on your corner in the pouring rain  
  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
  
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile  
  
And she will be loved  
  
She will be loved//  
  
- She will be Loved, Maroon 5  
  
Fall is ending. Soon, the winter snow will cover this dark and barren land. I love winter, because it reminds me of; me. As of late anyway. Soon the crisp autumn air, will turn into cold winter winds that chill me to my bones. The last of the brown and orange leaves will fall from the trees and fly away to who knows where, and be replaced by soft powders of fresh fallen snow. My estimate, it will begin to snow in about a week, a week and a half at most.  
  
I'm sitting in my favorite chair, nice and plush, but worn in at all the right places; staring out of the window. I've been here for the last 7 years, alone. But, it's better this way. This way, I can do whatever I want, say whatever I feel like, and scream and cry whenever I feel like. I do that more often now.  
  
*Sigh* You'd think that after 10 years.... the pain would have been gone, or at least dulled into almost nothingness. But no. It's still there. Torturing me every waking day, tormenting me when I sleep... It's always there. It never leaves, like an unwelcome guest, who's annoying and doesn't know the meaning of tact. Nope, the pain has burrowed deep within my heart, straight down into my soul, and there, it made it's home.  
  
I wonder what my friends are doing... God, I haven't seen them in about, what is it now, 8 years? Have I really been away that long? And when was the last time I thought of them, in truth, everyday. I wonder how Trowa and Quatre are doing. I wonder if they are happy together, maybe have children? I don't know. I miss Wufei, fighting with him all the time, watching him get irritated when I call him Wu-chan, I even miss him ranting on and on about justice and honor, and I miss seeing the look on his face when I tell him to shut up and pay attention to what he's burning in the kitchen. He always did insist on cooking.  
  
I remember the last time that we were all together. We were at Catharine's wedding. I don't think I've ever seen Trowa look so happy for her. Of course he had objected like hell the first time Cat had mentioned getting married. We had to hold Trowa from strangling him. Those were the good times, as sadistic as it sounds. But the wedding was beautiful, and in the end, Trowa and Quatre shed happy tears for the newlyweds. I remember the reception the best, because it was the best. Seeing Cat and her husband dance the wedding waltz, then seeing Wufei get hit on by Sally and Dorothy. But most of all, the classic moment of the night, was when innocent Quatre had had too much to drink; and lets just say that he divulged more information about his relationship with Trowa, than we cared to know. Seeing Trowa's stoic face turn tomato red, is one image I will never forget.  
  
That brought a smile to my face. I have wanted to call them up again and see how things were with them, but after what I had done, just gotten up and left like that, I doubt that they would have even given me the time of day. I stare at the phone at least for a half hour, and everyday, my hand gets closer to the phone. I want to talk to them, I really do; but would they want to talk to me? What would I say to begin with, "Hey Quat, I know we haven't talk for 8 years, but what say you n' me get together and reminisce?" I don't think so, I would have even hung up on myself.  
  
But I miss them all, but the one I miss the most... Is the one person I haven't seen in 10 years. I miss Heero. I miss him more everyday, I hurt to see him, my soul aches for him. God, I can't believe it's been 10 years, ten long, lonely, and painful years. Who woulda thought that me, Duo Maxwell, pilot of Deathscythe, Shinigami, Pilot 02, the one who kicked Oz ass all over the galaxy, who's name inspired fear into other's, the one who lived through 2 wars, suffered such loss, and still come out strong; be broken in half by heartache? Not me that's for sure. But it did. And it hit like a bullet to the chest. It almost tore me in two.  
  
I really miss Heero. I see him in almost everything, I see his cobalt blue eyes in the night sky, see his hair in the autumn leaves, hear his voice on a breeze... I miss his scent, his touch, his voice. But the memories I have, bring me joy and also haunt me to no end. I remember when he would hold me at night, and the few times he would tell me that he loved me, that I meant everything to him. I can still hear his voice telling me that my violet eyes were the center of his world, his whole universe. As he was to me. Heero was my whole world, my whole universe; and when he left, that universe and world collapsed and crumbled into nothing but ash and dust. He vowed to me that we would be together forever, for an eternity and more. And I believed him. And now, he's gone. Taken from me in the cruelest of ways. And I can still see it like it was yesterday, not ten years ago...  
  
We were on a mission, we had to break into Oz headquarters, steal some documents, and blow it up in our wake. A simple mission, a recon was all it basically was. But it went wrong. Very wrong. They were expecting us, waiting for us like lions for their prey. We were attacked, but it was nothing we couldn't handle. Then, looking out of my cockpit, I saw you, fighting with grace and agility that no other pilot possessed. I smiled when you destroyed pilot after pilot, then Wing exploded in a display of smoke and fire. My smile turned into a scream of horror and concern.  
  
I remember landing next to the wreckage, running for all I was worth, towards you. Lifting metal and gundam parts that weighed more than I did, out of the way, cutting myself on glass with the desperate need to find you... To see if you were ok. Then I saw you, and the sight made me vomit. I saw you, Heero Yuy, pilot of Wing, the perfect soldier, bloodied and mangled, and so, still.  
  
I picked you up with sheer tenderness and love and infinite care. I talked for what seemed like hours, tried to wake you up, when I knew that you wouldn't. But I still hoped and wished, that you would open your eyes, and look at me with the blue eyes that I loved, and tell me everything was going to be ok. But you never did. I felt my eyes well up with tears, and heard a scream tear it's way out of my throat. All the while, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei watched me silently, and cried. Then I reluctantly accepted the fact that you would never come back to me, never again look at me with love in your eyes, hold me, tell me I was an idiot, or tell me you love me. But I never did let you go.  
  
The funeral was one memory I wished to forget. But I saw it as if it was a movie, like I wasn't living it, like I was seeing it from far away. Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei were all worried about me, they stayed with me, and helped me cope. But how could I do that? Was I just supposed to forget about of him? Move on? How could I, when I felt and knew that half of my soul was buried along with Heero's body. How could I. I wouldn't, I refused. So I did the only thing I could do. I picked up my life and left L4, went back to Earth, to live the rest of my life alone. I didn't even tell the guys I was leaving, I just did. I don't know what exactly happened to them, but maybe I'll check around and see how they are doing, maybe go and see them. I doubt it though. I can't face them now, after what happened that day, I can't. But I will check on them.  
  
But for now, I sit here, on my 28th birthday, watching the leaves fall from the trees and thinking of Heero. Dreaming about the life we could have had, and crying because I know that I can't have it. Wondering if he is somewhere thinking about me, wishing fervently that he could be with me like I wish and yearn to be with him. But meanwhile, I'm just watching as the seasons change.  
  
The End.  
  
Notes: Yes I killed Heero, and made Duo suffer, and I'M SORRY! Please Review and share an opinion. Thanks for reading! 


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